Spring of Awakening

Old habits die hard! As an ex planning manager in corporate world, from time to time i feel the urge of reviewing progress.

Today as it is the begining of March i decided to revisit my new year resolutions for 2018.

Prepared my strong Turkish Coffee, my small office setup in the terrace, a little bit of music for the moods and here we go. That’s how serious i am about it..

Some parts of my plan are progressing ok and some others are not so ok. There are items to add, change or drop. Fine! What is not so fine is how i work through each and every item.

I notice i spend great time and effort analyzing, scrutinizing, trying to “fix” and recover from the “loss” , rying to close the gap for those items that are behind the goal. But i don’t have the same attitude for things that i am already good at or those kind, fun things that happen to me out of nowhere. They just get a quick check mark and back to my “whyyyyy can’t i do thissss” hammering!

Or even better, sometimes for those things i enjoy so much, unplanned, unexpected i get so absorbed into it that I don’t even have it captured anywhere… For example there are no diary notes for the days i spent with my two friends @seblakaplan @cuneytasiduru here in KPG-a surprise holiday we all enjoyed … i don’t have any video of three of us on the scooter singing 90’s turkish pop and driving into a posh restaurant… there is no instagram story of me and Sebla watching youtube videos with tears in our eyes and laughing silly… Because they are not coreographed, they are naturally fun, sad, exciting. They are truly extatic.


Going back to my unfair attitude towards myself: Why this need to put so much effort to celebrate progress? Why this unnecessary challange? Is this not another burden?

I am glad i had this reality check with myself today.

I now choose to look at how far i’ve come instead of how far there is still to go. I now choose to be fair to myself in recognizing all the little good that happens to me.

I wish you all a beautiful March! May it be a Spring in our Awakening 🙏❤️

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